Dear Daniel: Personal Space

Dear Daniel,

What is considered "personal space"?

Personable Person


Personable,

Neuropsychology describes personal space in terms of kinds of 'near-ness' to the body.

1) Extrapersonal Space: The space that occurs outside the reach of an individual.

2) Peripersonal Space: The space within reach of any limb of an individual. Thus to be 'within-arm's length' is to be within one's peripersonal space.

3) Pericutaneous Space: The space just outside our bodies but which might be near to touching it. Visual-tactile perceptive fields overlap in processing this space so that, for example, an individual might see a feather as not touching their skin but still feel the inklings of being tickled when it hovers just above their hand. (Neuropsychology: Clinical and Experimental Foundations)

Wikipedia describes personal space as the region surrounding a person which they regard as psychologically theirs. Invasion of personal space often leads to discomfort, anger, or anxiety on the part of the victim.

The amount of personal space for everyone varies from person to person. Also, how well you know someone or your demeanor towards them factors in to the equation. If you’re wondering if you are “invading” someone’s personal space, use non-verbal cues to translate:

Eyes: Invade someone’s personal space and you will be greeted with darting eyes. You may receive sharp, piercing glares. Or, a surprised look may be received.

Lips: Tight, pursed lips are a common reaction to someone invading another’s personal space.

Movement: Invade another’s personal space and notice how the invaded takes a step back. They are trying to maintain their two-foot perimeter, which is commonly the professional distance.

Now the next obvious question is "What do I do if I feel someone is in my personal space?" Well, good news, I've got an answer for you!

• Keep in mind that some people find touching to be a valid form of expression, a means of connection. It is probably how they talk to their friends and family. If it's not inappropriate (a tap on the shoulder, a pat on the back) and if it's not bothering you, you may choose to do nothing.
• Back away. Scoot over, back up, or stand aside. Body language may or may not work, but if the coworker takes the hint it's a quick, easy way to communicate your displeasure.
• Ask the person who is touching you to stop. Explain that you are uncomfortable with being touched. You shouldn't make a scene at your workplace, but do be clear and firm. It may take a while for them to break the habit. Continue to remind them if they continue to do it. To say "No" is absolutely acceptable and appropriate.
• Document the 'no touching' conversation and any following touching. After several incidents, bring it up to your manager or speak to the supervisor, manager or even your senior LA. Bring your documentation, and let them deal with the person.

Daniel